The moment of goodbye

Have you ever felt the heaviness, not just in your heart but inside your mind, when you realise that a person you are meeting at the instant, is the last time you will meet them? I have felt it so mant times, it happens with persons I form a sort of a bond a connection deeper than the normal transactional relationships one has.

The feeling is more profound when you "know" that this is the last time, and maybe you will never again meet the person in life. The entire world at that moment seems so big, so full of probabilities  even in today's world of instant communication. You may even exchange contact information and promise to be connected, but in your heart you (and the person) knows that these are just formalities. Your heart is sombre not wanting to let go the moment, but then time never runs slow when you want it to. 

There is also a classical twist in the tale. If you do ever, bump into the person after many years, the situation could be so different then, that the past memories hold no value in the current context. 

But unless that happens we keep the probability of meeting again, "just in case"! "Shaayad"

Which brings me to Ahmed Faraz:

फिर उसी रहगुज़ार पर शायद,

हम कभी मिल सकें मगर शायद।

And of course, JS makes it heavenly, especially when he mixes Waris Shah's "Heer".

The ghazal by Faraz, is a short syllable marvel at 10 syllables.

The beher (meter) of the ghazal is: 2122-1212-22 (often used with 2122-1212-112)

Winter, Rain, Evening and Night

 Today, it rained in the evening. These winter rains bring down the alarming pollution levels of this metropolis. I hear that the emergency level restrictions are therefore revoked from today.

Though the air around the environment might have cleared up, this rain again triggers something melancholic within me. I do not know what, but there is something. Also it makes me feel cold and lazy.

Also, in these situations suddenly a JS/CS mood triggers in. It is said that music binds with one's memory. When the music is played back, the memories also playback. This is amazing feeling. We feel nostalgic, yet the memories are most of the time sweet and soothing.

Today, it is, Jigar Moradabadi.

आँखों का था क़ुसूर न दिल का क़ुसूर था,

आया जो मेरे सामने मेरा ग़ुरूर था.

जिस दिल को तुम ने लुत्फ़ से अपना बना लिया,

उस दिल में इक छुपा हुआ नश्तर ज़रूर था.

The ghazal is a 14 syllable meter, named: muzaari musamman akhrab makfuuf mahzuuf, syllable pattern: = = - / = - = - / - = = - / = - =

1706 Days

 I am posting a new blog after 1706 days here!

So many things have happened during these years! We have COVID and waves of them one after another. Then we had the AI boom. important elections, wars and what not. This blog could have been witness to all that in real time. I chose not to write, not because I did not have content, but because of my laziness. 

The days of reading and writing blogs are on the downhill for sure. People have moved to social media and contents are generated in multimedia format, esp. videos. Writing text and the art of evoking emotions from text alone, is a restricted to books. 

Let me see, if I can (re)start this blog again. Maybe I will take it to a different location, where I can save all my previous blogs and publish newer ones.

तुम आओ तो सही...

This blog of mine, would be saying to me the same thing...
एक वादा करो अब हमसे ना बिछड़ोगे कभी,
नाज़ हम सारे उठा लेंगे, तुम आओ तो सही।
And I am like that unfaithful lover that returns, only when my mind is restless, down and out, looking for love and comfort.

Just now, as this ghazal plays in the background, it has again broken all the walls of my barriers that I use as a check-dam of my emotions. Now there is a deluge not only from my eyes but also inside the heart and rushing down the veins, I am drowning helplessly. Time will heal, not the pain, but the walls of the dam, and again I would be up and running, until the next deluge. The music of JS and CS does this often. I don't know what or why it is. Maybe it is a combination of memories, melody and melancholy. Maybe something it is something else. I don't know. I don't care now.

This particular gem from Chitra ji, is a superb rendition. Starting from her ulta-short alaap, the matla of the ghazal and to each of the three couplets. The interlude of the flute and the tabla is just awesome, and so is the santoor.

This is Mumtaz Mirza's ghazal. This ghazal is written in the meter "ramal musamman mahzuf", with the syllabic pattern, 2122-2122-2122-212. The तुम आओ तो सही is scanned as तु माओ तो सही (122 212).

There are other verses that are unsung in this recording.
यूँ तो जिस सिम्त नज़र उठती है तारीकी(darkeness) है,
प्यार के दीप जला लेंगे, तुम आओ तो सही।

इख़्तलाफ़ात(disagreement) भी मिट जाएँगे रफ़ता(slowly) रफ़ता,
जिस तरह होगा निभा लेंगे, तुम आओ तो सही।

दिल की वीरानी से घबराके ना मुँह को मोड़ो,
बज़्म ये फिर से सज़ा लेंगे, तुम आओ तो सही।

Happy Friendship Day

Today "was" friendship day!
Nowadays it takes a dedicated day of the year to mark important relationships, like mother, father, sister & brother (okay we had Rakhi and bhayia dooj even before), wife, husband and even anti-terrorism. I remember as a kid, the fashion of celebrating "Valentine's day" started in our school. That was probably the trend-setter. Now social networking has thrust upon us, these. We must have some post tagging our immediate members on the day. If you don't, then you are a social network outcast. By the way, who determines these days? Mr. Zuckerberg?

Sticking to friendship, I think a great example was set by Mr. Duryodhan and Mr. Karn of the Mahabharat fame. Duryodhan on his part came to the rescue of Karn during the "show of strength" ceremony when the latter was being forbidden to compete with Arjun to establish the supremacy in the art of archery by the learned men of the Hastinapur court. Of course Duryodhan had ulterior motives, but then which relationship does not have that in kaliyug. In return, Karn was a steadfast friend of Duryodhan. Legend has it that when Kunti met Karn before his epic battle with Arjun and told him about his lineage, he refused to shift his loyalty from Duryodhan. I don't know if Duryodhan ever came to know of Karn's real background.

Most of such friends in today's world, would easily chose to reveal the secret. Mr. Karn could call for a meeting between Mr Yudhishthir and Mr. Duryodhan and say to them, "Hey dudes! Look I am the elder brother of all of you all. So I should be the king of Hastinapur. You guys, just chill." Of course one section of the media would try to project Mr. Karn has a "greedy and opportunist" brother. They could also question the authenticity of Ms. Kunit's and Mr. Karn's claims. They would have to eventually undertake a DNA test on the orders of the honourable SC of India.

What I find surprising is, Krishn never once hinted in his ~575 shloks in the Bhagwad Gita to Arjun that you would actually be killing your own elder brother in the battle. Had he, I think it would have been very difficult for him to persuade Arjun to fight. Even after Karn was slain and Arjun came to know about the reality of Karn, he never showed anger or complaint towards Krishn as to why he did not tell him this before, considering they were friends too. There goes, another example of friendship of the ancient times!

Friends, happy friendshiping!!

Bhishm Pitamah

My 4 year old son categorises the entire world as "good" or "bad". "Chingum Sir" is good. "Veer" is good. His friends are all good. "No Baal", "Mad Max" and  all type of virus and germs are bad. So as I was reading a kid's version of Mahabharat to him, I was least surprised by his queries on helping him put the characters of Mahabharat in his "good" and "bad" basket.

He pointed towards a drawing of Duryodhan and Karn and asked, "Are they good or bad?". I said, "They are good, but some of their actions were not good." To add to his confusion, I further said, "Nobody is good or bad. Their actions are. Like when you don't listen to Mummy when she asks you to brush your teeth at night. You are being bad at that time. But when you practise your lines for your show-and-tell, then you are being good". It was too much for his little mind to master. Most probably he also wanted to put the topic of brushing quickly off the table. So he ignored, (I don't know which basket he has put them in) and went on to point towards Bhishm's drawing and repeated the same question.

This was confusing even for me. Legend and tradition puts him on the good side. A loving great grand-grand father towards the Pandavs, who had to take side of the "bad" because he was so truthful towards his oath and promise. He pledged to protect the throne and never set eyes on it irrespective of the circumstances. He had no riders in his pledge. He was so bound, that he could not even raise his mighty skills as a warrior to protect the dignity of a woman that was being vandalised by his grand-grand-children. If not as a warrior he could have definitely tried to advise strongly to the throne (that he had pledged to protect) that the events being unfolded in the dice game were utterly wrong and would bring immense harm to the kingdom and throne. But no, he chose to play the mute spectator. Thus, it is not a pity that he had to lie on a bed of arrows from the 10th day of the war.

But then, look at his life! His mother took him away from his father as a new born. When he returned to the materialistic world as a young prince, he was stuck with his father's mis-adventures. He took an oath and his father gave him a boon that became a curse. He could not die unless he could know that the borders of the kingdom were safe and secure. He was a learned and wise man. He could differentiate between "good" and "bad", but his "karm yog" was to support the bad. He paid the price, both by flesh and by mind. He knew he was on the wrong (and weak) side, yet his "karm" forced him to be on the weak side.

I think Bhishm's good versus bad tally matched and that he was relieved from the cycle at the end. But then, next up is Karn. Did his tally match?
This epic is a gem.

Double Roti and Maggi

This was my dinner today. 

Since we have been having "heavy" meals from yesterday, I decided to go "light" for dinner today. Every Indian would agree that the above combination of bread and a pack of Maggi is the best choice. After all, what is "junk" in this food?

Double Roti: A strange name we have given to breads in our country, particularly the North. "एक डबल रोटी देना", when asked by a customer to a groceries shopkeeper means he or she wants to buy a loaf of bread. Not buy a single slice of bread. I tried to reason why we may have started to call it "double". It maybe because of the thickness. It is lot thicker than our rotis. And roti, because it is after all the next staple "bread" after roti here. In Bengali, we call it, "পাউরুটি" (Pauruti), which literally translates to "Pau-(legs)-ruti-(roti)". Now this is logical. In the olden days, people would jump over the batter in the bakeries to ensure that the mass quantities of flour mixed throughly with the yeast. We didn't have batter mixing machines in those days, so no need to say, yuck! It would be interesting to know what this is called in other parts of the country.

Maggi: Every Indian will swear by their heart and soul that this instant noodles launched by Nestlé India in 1983, has saved the hunger pangs of millions of people across the country in so many years. Not withstanding the ingredients and the banning and unbanning of this product time and again, this instant noodles is one that anyone who can lit a gas stove in India can cook. Boil the water, crack the noodles and sprinkle the "masala". Let it boil for 2 minutes. Done. The "Masala" flavour is the one and only that tastes best. Nestlé could very well stop doing those crazy, schezwan and chicken experiments. The best part is that you can use it as a sandwich filling, a dough for "pakodas" and what not. In those stalls near the busy office areas, you get butter Maggi topped with fried onions and butter and dressed with green peppers and "chaat masala". Then you have the egg Maggi, where the scrambled eggs are mixed with the noodles. One can have it plain, veggie loaded and what not. The sky is the limit.